Strip Club

Okay... yesterday... I finally did something I thought I'd never do - I went to a strip club! Not sure why I haven't. Never got around to it? Wasn't comfortable going? Thought it'd be really awkward? I have a thing for looking up stuff online... see what sort of information I could get before I get myself into things. I checked out sites of some local clubs. I checked out some "strip club etiquette" and "how much should I tip... if at all?" websites. The whole experience was completely new to me. I decided on a place a short drive away... a place that didn't seem shady... where the girls had all fingers, toes, appendages and all of that. How awful would it be for my first time if I showed up to a toothless old lady dragging her tits across the floor? (haha!) I decided to go when the club first opened. Most people would think that would be MORE strange than going with crowds of people... but I'm a low key guy. Showing up early really suited my personality. But, I learned something really great about going early - the girls attention was 100% on me, they sat down and talked, I got to pick their brains a little bit to see what they were all about, there were no interruptions from d***ks or vulgar idiots, and after I told them that this was my first time, they were super happy to make it memorable. The first girl that came on was a bit annoying. She was really tired, was yawning, wanted me to talk... honestly, I wanted to say, "Damn it! Just dance already! Let's get this thing moving!" But she ended up being sweet. The second girl... she was awesome! And boy, she had game! Her name was Kylie. She was very energetic and outgoing. The first thing out of her mouth was, "You like older women, don't you!?" and I said, "... I do." with a biiig smile. She said, "Well, I'm 27... you're... 22? 23? And I'll tell you a secret... I like big guys!" She was just amazing. She pulled every trick out of the book to wow me! She was smart, too! Her four songs went by way too fast. The next girl was all about business. She gave me a little small talk but not much more. She had an ok body... a couple tattoos... seemed a bit bitchy but that's ok. I like mean girls. (haha) The next girl was cool. She was about her business, too... but she put on a good performance. Part way through, an older guy came in and while she was giving him some attention... I went to the lobby and asked for a private dance with Kylie. When the last girl was done, the first girl came out again and we talked more. She was the only girl who made me feel bad for her... ya know? Like, maybe she couldn't get another job somewhere and had to pay rent... maybe had a lot of jerks hurt her and was just looking for positive attention. But, something cool happened... when Kylie came to get me for my private dance... that girls eyes really lit up. She looks at me and says, "You picked the perfect girl for your first lap dance!" and I said, "Well, why?" and she said, "She's the best. She's my best friend. I just love her!" and you could tell that Kylie really helped that girl through a lot. It was very cool. Ok, so the private dance with the lovely Kylie was about to begin. I was nervous but her fun and (in a way) loving demeanor made me very relaxed. She showed me to the love seat and explained some of the rules. During her dance, we talked even more. She asked me if I had a lady friend and we discussed that a bit. She was just great. She was very real. She actually seemed upset when the bouncer said the dance was over. She looked me in the eye with her arms around my neck, straddling me, her face inches from my face and said, "I wish I didn't have to stop!" and gave me a big smile. Then she stood up and gave me the biggest hug. I actually pulled back and she pulled me closer and tighter. She said, "Well, the bright side is... I go on again right now. There's no one but you and me here. So, could we have this dance?" I sat down and we talked more and laughed more. She said that she thought I was a run of the mill guy who comes to places like this but she said that I'm very close to being her favorite already. At the end of her last song she asked if I was staying around long. I said, "actually, I have to go soon, and I want to leave on a good note... but, how better to end the day spending the last half hour with you? So, I'll leave now." and she jumped in my arms, hugged me and said, "Please come back to see me! Thank you! Thank you!" and I made my exit. Now, before you guys start busting my balls saying that she played me, fed me a bunch of lies, and she was just doing her job... I already know that. I'm not stupid... but hey... at least I didn't leave the place feeling shitty because I spent 2 hours in a place watching strippers shake their butts and rub their tits in my face for a few dollars. I may never go back to that place. I may on occasion. I don't know. I haven't decided yet... but I'm definitely calling in to see if Kylie is there before I go.