My mind - a bit dark!

I lay, on my front, on the bed tied by my hands and feet and a mask stopping me from seeing him. I know he is there I can hear his breathing as he smokes his cigarette – he only smokes in the bedroom where he knows my heightened senses can smell the horrible acrid smoke – he does it because I hate it! Although I hate it I love because it meant he was still here. I moved a bit and felt the thong attached to the nipple clamps stretch taut and tug at my nipples. Even with him not touching me I felt the way I was being punished. I felt the hot wetness on my own desire dripping from between my legs and knew that he would be watching for that. Could I stop it if I wanted or was I too far gone? Did I want him to see it so that I got punished? Those two simple words rattling around my head 24 hours a day – “Punish me”. Do I live for me, for him, for sex or for the sweet pain. I know that my pain is not excessive, it is not scarring mentally or physically, it is not unbearable, it is just aimed at my own tolerance levels. What do I like the most? The actual physical side or the anticipation? I function perfectly well away from him but when my mind wanders I start to wonder what will happen next time?, when will the next time be? Have I done anything that I shouldn’t have? Have I cum without him or his express command? Do I just find excuses to feel that I need to say “Punish me”? God I nearly missed hearing him move – must concentrate! I feel his fingers gently prising me open and I can’t help myself I contract my arse cheeks together – quickly I release them fearing the punishment – why did he not punish me? Have I lost his interest? “Please I need to know my place in the bedroom” – “Punish me” Without warning I feel the sting of leather thongs hitting my arse, not once or twice but three times. Why was I so weak as to doubt him? The bedroom is his domain, he knows my every thought here, my yearnings, my fears that I will disappoint him. I hear the click of a digital camera, good I want to see the marks he has left, the stinging little welts that will be gone in an hour, the proof of my humiliation, my inner need to be chastised – “Punish me” All goes quiet again and I hear him light another cigarette, he is teasing me again – no he has just pulled on the thong and pulled the nipple clamps again – how can he surprise me time and time again? Most of the time he is a gentle, kindly lover but he says that when I confess or have a glint in my eye I have an inner need – it is his duty to see that I behave at times like these. “Please punish me a little bit more” He moves, to the top of the bed I think, he has, he is untying my hands but tells me to leave them where they are. Next he unties my feet. ‘Stand up’ he whispers. I must do as he says and quickly, but part of me wants to go slowly - “Punish me” I’m standing, I can feel his breath so evenly against my back and know that my own is quite ragged. I feel his breath move to my ear, he pulls back my hair and hisses one word ‘Cum’ To my shame I do so, my whole body feeling the release as my cum flows down my thighs in torrents. I shudder and know that I have had the ultimate punishment, he has proven I am a slut in the bedroom – I have cum while his cock is still in is underpants. “How will he punish me next time?”